I’ve been sitting on this post for a while now… mainly because I’ve been waiting for it to make its way from my head to my heart. But after several weeks, it seems as though I just need to get this out there as best as I can. THIS HAS BEEN ROCKING MY WORLD, and my only prayer is that God might use it to rock yours.
Much love,
Kaitlyn
God’s Love Language: OBEDIENCE
Since being home from college, my sister Bethany and I have been attending
Acts 9:1-19
Saul’s Conversion
1 Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest 2 and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. 3 As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”5 “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. 6 “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
7 The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. 8 Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. 9 For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.
10 In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”
“Yes, Lord,” he answered.
11 The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. 12 In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”
13 “Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your holy people in Jerusalem. 14 And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”
15 But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to proclaim my name to the Gentiles and their kings and to the people of Israel. 16 I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”
17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength.
Though Matt drew several conclusions from the text, one has since stuck with me. At one point, Matt made the following claim: “Just as humans are made in the image of God, and as humans have ‘love languages’ (note: see Gary Chapman’s book “The Five Love Languages”), it follows that God might also have a love language: that of OBEDIENCE.” Now, when he first said that, my instant reaction was: “WHAT?! You can’t give God a love language! At the maximum, that’s heresy and at the minimum, just ridiculous!” But as the sermon went on, I couldn't shake that thought out of my head.
Up until a couple of weeks ago, "obedience" to God left a bitter taste in my mouth. It seemed to me as though I was continually having give up my deepest desires (a husband, mission work, etc.... see previous post) in order to serve God in where He was leading me, feeling as if my desires didn't matter to Him. I mean, yeah I'm following God's leading, but what good is it if my soul isn't satisfied with what He's giving me right now? It seemed a depressing cycle: follow God = deny yourself = be unhappy = "suffer" for God = follow God. So many times I thought to myself, "Is this really worth it? If this is how God 'loves' me and blesses those who are obedient to Him, I'm not so sure if He loves me at all." Yet, like a "good little Christian girl", I buried my doubts, picked up the shovel of Bible verses I used to bury them, and pressed on, all the while allowing the devil to twist my view of "obedience" even more so to make me bitter and angry towards God.
So naturally, when Matt brought up the topic of "obedience" my heart went immediately on the defensive, somehow wanting to prove his statement wrong. LOVE? Obedience is love? You've got to be kidding me. So when my sister and I returned home from church, I voraciously tore through my Bible and biblegateway.com searching for what the Bible had to say about obedience to God... and I wasn't let down. Using the NIV version, I found around 300 references to obedience/ disobedience in the Bible (here's the search just for "obey")! I figured when I searched for terms, most of them would come from the Old Testament, where God is often pictured as a more "authoritarian" figure... in fact the entire book of Leviticus and most of Deuteronomy are commands from God! But what I found is that the references were spread out throughout the entire Bible, including the gospels and the letters from the apostles! What stood out most greatly to me not only was God's clear desire for our obedience to Him (Exodus 19:4-6; Leviticus 8:4; Nehemiah 1:8-10; Luke 11:28; John 14:22-24; Hebrews 11:7-9... just to name a few), but also His clear desire to bless us out of our obedience (Genesis 22:18; Deut. 6:25; Luke 11:28). And out of the passage Matt spoke from (Acts 9:1-19) two things have come to light for me that have absolutely rocked my world: (1) God will accept nothing but our obedience, and (2) God wants use our obedience to do BIG THINGS.
(1) God will accept nothing but our obedience to His will in order to bring the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the kingdom of God to every corner of the world.
Matt brought up a great point that as Christians, we tend to "hear" God's leading in one of two ways. First, there's the "quiet whisper." This gentle leading is much preferred to the second option. It is "easy on the ears" (read: our own will/desires) and often times, though not all the time, a reassuring nudge towards what we've already been living our lives for, desiring, or just makes sense to be the next step. One might align this sense of leading with the sentiments of the Psalmist in Psalm 23, as God leads him peacefully through "green pastures." The second way, however, is much more abrasive - it is a command. Most often it is a "Stop in whatever direction you are going and go another way." It is uncomfortable, often requiring extensive amounts of character growth and personal sacrifice. When God appears to Paul on the road, he doesn't politely tell him to go to Damascus; no, he commands it (v. 6). Similarly with Ananias - despite his excuses, God calls Ananias out not once, but twice (vv. 11 & 15)! He commands action from both of the men, and will not accept otherwise.
I think our culture and our generation has a serious "beef" (if you will) with the concept of obedience. We don't like people telling us what to do, when to do it, and sometimes, what we need to give up. And I'll be the first to admit I'm guilty... especially when it comes to my future (a.k.a. marriage and career). But imagine if Paul or Ananias hadn't been obedient to God's commands? What if they decided against the hard and uncomfortable things God was calling them to do? I have no doubt God could have used their decisions either way to still fulfill His plans, but the story of the world certainly would have played differently. Who wouldn't have heard the message of the saving Gospel? Who's eternity wouldn't have been forever impacted? The same eternity-impacting questions apply to your life and the choices you make today to be obedient to God's will for your life. God will accept nothing less than obedience.(2) God wants to use our obedience to do BIG THINGS.
In the story of Paul and Ananias, God uses the obedience of Ananias to bring about physical, emotional, and spiritual healing in the man who is about to become one of the God's greatest instruments in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Paul. Acts tells us that after encountering Jesus on the road, Paul was blind and didn't eat or drink for 3 days (v. 9) - a Biblical picture/symbolism of death. After finding out he'd been persecuting not only the people of God, but the very Son of God (v. 5), I can only imagine what spiritual and emotional torment Paul must have been going through at that point! In comes Ananias. Despite probably being a little bit nervous to face the man who was killing his friends only a few days before, Ananias approaches with the greeting, "Brother Paul." Brother! Brother! Can you imagine that? A week ago this man was killing Christians, and now by the same Christians he is being called brother?! Can you imagine what that must have done for Paul's spirit? The lifting of guilt and shame, the washing the past in Christ's cleansing blood, and the freeing Paul to go and do God's work! To me, the regaining of Paul's eye sight becomes only a minute detail when compared to the soul-healing and LIFE CHANGE that God delivered through the obedience of Ananias!
And that, my friends, is the real reason God desires our obedience. He wants to use us to do BIG THINGS. To "loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke" (Isaiah 58:6). To "preach good news to the poor... to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners... to bestow a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning" (Isaiah 61:1-3). THAT is what we are obedient for.
I realize I've been asking God to love me like I often ask humans to love me, to encourage me, to sympathize with me, and make me feel "good" about my "situation" in life - where "my plans are ending and His plans are beginning." But we can all attest to the fact that human love is flawed and conditional. On the contrary, God's love is perfect and unconditional. And if His love language is obedience and He is calling, no, commanding me to follow the path He has so clearly laid out, the most perfect way I can show my love for Him is to be fervently obedient to what He has called me to do right now - to be a nurse in the United States Air Force in San Antonio, TX and to be a woman chasing after His heart and His heart alone.
I'll admit, it's uncomfortable, and it's hard. It's forcing all-out dependence on God and constant prayer. But that's exactly where I need to be and exactly where I want to be. Praise be to God. He is so good.
Wow Kaitlyn! I love this post!! You are amazing.
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